she's STILL beautiful.
She has treated me very poorly. In fact, I have been hurt more by her than I can imagine the 'world' mistreating me.
Of course, there are many many reasons why I should run from this love affair...wise up and realize that there will be more pain in the future, more disappointment, more broken promises. And yet, I continue to fall at her feet. I am her servant - her defender - one of her shepherds.
I often find myself having a judgmental attitude towards those who used to be friends (lovers?) to the Church and now reject her because they feel wronged in some way. Its not that I somehow discount their pain or believe that they have suffered any less wrong than I have...rather, I simply cannot understand how someone who would claim to follow Jesus (who literally died for the Church) could reject something He loves so dearly. Should I not love the things He loves?
I am drawn to her. I cannot let her go. She is in my bones.
I realize that
- the Church is full of fragile, incomplete human beings...at least as wicked as myself.
- there are many who attend a building we call "the church" who are in fact, not true members of the Church at all - in that, it cannot be said that they have ever committed themselves to following Christ.
- regardless of how she treats me - I am committed to her. I have said my vows, I have taken the pledge - not to a building, but to a Savior. He commands me "not to forsake". His loves compels me to serve. If I love Him...
- The Church is the central place (outside of my own family) where I can practice the attributes of God. Where better to learn grace, than with a group of people who require it? Where better to learn forgiveness than with those who have wronged me? It is within the walls of these relationships that I become more like my Creator.
- Hypocrites? Oh yes, and I forgot....am I not one as well?
And yet - this week I will stand beside her, sing praises with her, confide my secrets in her, give her my time, my service...
in SPITE of herself....in spite of ME....she is still so beautiful.
3 comments:
say someone is a mainstream evangelical – these people can think of some churches they perceive as playing charades.
well, i just think a lot more of them are playing charades than before “it” happened.
i no longer subscribe to the accepted definitions of where church is. denominations, like political boundaries, aren’t real. i don’t think god is found wherever family Christian bookstore merchandise finds it way.
i've always believed in Gods church.
i just think the angle of the narrow path runs pretty much perpendicular to where i thought it used to be.
Could it be that the stories about Christ have him dying for all and not just those that belived in his corporeal earthly existence? Are those that believe in the core principals that the Christ story stands for not the church?
I fear the church has in a great number of ways turned into a hobbiest niche, and that by being consumed with only these specific people who claim a certain set of beliefs, one can fall into being miopic.
Thanks for the comments...
this blog feeds into the reader at facebook, where this post generated a pretty lively discussion.
in one of the last posts some similar ideas were raised...
I want to make it clear that I am not saying that i support some man-made institution regardless of how unchristian she acts...
what I am trying to make clear is that it is essentially vital to me to open up my life to the lives of others on this journey - in whatever shape that may take.
"church" for me is something I define very broadly...i have a hard time putting my finger on it, but I know it when i see (or experience) it.
i really believe that we were all meant to live in community...of some sort in some way...and THAT is what I am advocating.
Post a Comment